Sammy’s Kebabs

I used to work front of house in an Indian eatery when I was about 14. It was my first job, and I had to answer the phones, serve customers, and pack takeaway bags. Over time, I ended up managing the establishment. However, one particular day, an Indian bloke came into the takeaway, asking for a ‘Sammy kebab’ starter in a distinct Indian accent. I did not know who Sammy even was, let alone that he had made a kebab, but people being people… he thought if he said it louder, and louder, and louder, I would somehow understand what he meant. I understood nothing and could’ve burst into tears, thinking that I would get fired. Eventually, it transpired that the bloke wanted a ‘Shami Kebab’ (a flat version of an Indian meat kebab). At 14, I hated that day! So, aggressive Indian man, this self-invented vegan dish is for you.